Hey beautiful people, I am so very glad to be back and so sorry for taking so long to post but I am back now and after reading my very last post, I am so very proud of myself and how much I have achieved and how much my life has changed since October OMG. It was only 4 and a 1/2 months ago but my whole life has transformed and if I can transform my life, anyone can! Everything I set out to do I actually did, I mean even I am shocked, ha-ha!
I finally understand that I am important too. I always put others first but I finally did what I wanted to do and finally I truly love myself, my life and who I am again. The world can be a very cruel place but I now see so much beauty in the world, things that I couldn’t appreciate before because I was so unhappy… But now I appreciate them every day all day, the 3 main ones being kindness, laughter and nature.
I decided after the heartache with my ex and the ever disappointing area I lived in and the people in it, it was time for a big change. I was slowly giving up on life… My manager decided to humiliate me in front of all of my colleagues just before Christmas. He actually reduced me to tears as it goes, all because he THOUGHT I had done something wrong, when in fact I hadn’t. He owns the company. I knew right then I could no longer work there. He lost my respect and I work too hard to make serious money for a man I can no longer respect, he totally took the piss.
To make it worse, he did apologise… Through email! He humiliated me in front of everyone but yet even though he sat directly behind me, he felt he couldn’t even respect me or himself enough to apologise to my face. Pathetic right?! The way I see it, if someone humiliates you in front of everyone, they should apologise to you in front of everyone but hey, he owns the company and as I had learned well in my time there, he doesn’t give a f**k about what anyone thinks! I hated my job,I was living back at my Mum’s as I had moved out of the flat I had with my ex, I was miserable and I knew it was time for a change. I had to pick myself up.
One of my colleagues/friends had left the company I was working for and gone to work for the competition. My old boss used to pick on her too. He’s an absolute c word, seriously ha-ha! So… Little did I know that my friend had actually given me a glowing recommendation to the competitor and one day when I was at my very lowest point, I got a phone call from the Director. I decided I actually liked the industry I had moved into, I just hated the company I worked for but I am good at what I do, selling and project management of computer & IT network solutions and have learned more than I could ever imagine in the last year. In the last year I have managed to up my salary by 10K that’snot bad and not mentioning bonuses, my last one was 4K again, there’s money to be made and I work hard and I was not prepared to let it all go to waste.
I can’t explain how I felt when I got the call from the man who is now my boss but he didn’t know me at all at that time. I felt like he spoke to me with such a complimentary kindness and respect but I had just got used to being treated unfairly which is quite sad really but he was keen to get me in for an interview ASAP. I felt like a person again, I was me again, just like that. They wanted me. It felt amazing.
The location was an hours drive away, 2 hours via train, I hadn’t even given him a date for when I could attend the interview yet but something told me to start looking for places in that area and find a few that I like in hope to visit them on the same day as whenever the interview was. And that’s exactly what I did. I didn’t tell anyone about the call I had received it was a Thursday and I decided that weekend that I wanted the interview Monday and booked emergency holiday for the Monday. I couldn’t wait.
I went to the interview with my head held high, looking my best and took back the person I really was all along, the hard working, confident, bubbly girl who was always smiling or laughing. She had been trapped for so long and it was like I had just been set free. I could be me again and let the broken down version of what I had become slip away, to never return. I ended up getting the job offer during the interview, I was so nervous beforehand but I never let it show and despite my sweaty palms and thumping heart, I nailed it. I then went to look at my first choice flat. It was perfect and I decided to put the deposit down the same day, all the time nobody had any idea where I was and what I was doing. I felt in control, I felt organised, I was buzzing from the inside out. I stopped thinking what if and just went with it preparing to leave all I’ve ever known behind. I am 26 now, if I don’t start living now when will I? Mr right will find me when he finds me, for now my life is about my new career and my new life. It all happened so fast and things are so great, I keep pinching myself. I have been in a new town and new home and new job for 3 weeks now and I must say it’s pretty awesome, I just pray it stays this way! I came home to my Mums that day after the interview in seriously high spirits for the first time in a long time. It was the first sunny day of the year in February and I felt in that moment that God was finally giving me the break I had been praying for. I smiled all the way home and the sun was perfect outside the window of the train. A perfect reflection of my mood. It was such a big gamble but also a brand new start. I have no children yet, no partner so I went with my instincts. I was nervous but more excited.
Before I moved here I didn’t even know the area, I had never been to this part of West London before ever, no friends in the area (other than my colleague/friend who is a 30 minute drive away) but for some reason I felt like I had to do this, I had to try at least. Anything had to be better than how things were, so I took a gamble and it paid off. It’s the best decision I’ve made to date! No sad memories, nobody knows me, I am free to be who I want to be. To be me. I am so happy, I love my job, my new colleagues, my new home, my new happiness, the pain is left behind in 2014 and the reason I had to share this is below:
If I hadn’t done what I decided to do in the heat of the moment, alone, with no influence or opinions from others, I might not be here loving my life like never before right now. My whole life has changed for the better and I am truly grateful. My friends come and visit weekends and I finally have the space I needed. I am so excited about my life again and it’s ok to be single, independence is everything. No partner can give you that. The best is yet to come… I truly understand that now and funnily enough I actually believe it!
If I can do it anyone can, do what you want to do, go where you want to go, while you can! Have no fear, this is your life and time waits for nobody. Listen, if you are not doing what you want to do in your life, go and do it, nobody should decide what you want for you. I wish you all as much courage, happiness and success as my own. I am so high on life finally and I am never coming down! my life. My rules. My choice.
That is all beautiful blog faces…
Thanks for stopping by.