*A very special poem… Desiderata*

“Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.”

Max Ehrmann, “Desiderata”

I have been forcing myself to smile every single day. Smile through the pain. It’s been about 2 months since my second and final split with my ex, I guess you could say it’s been tough. In 2 months I have partied most weekends, even some work nights and dealing with 3 hours sleep and a banging headache and hangover in my job, is certainly NOT A GOOD IDEA.

I have flown to Ibiza, been to my first Gay Pride in Brighton which was a fabulously long day of drinking and I have been searching for something to fill this huge emptiness inside of me, a hollow. I just really needed some kind of inspiration, something to help me remember not just who I am but who I was before I fell in love with a person who begged me back for the second time and broke my heart for the second time. Sometimes we all know where the tunnel is but we might need a little torch to help us see that light at the end of it…

I realise all the answers and guidance I have been wanting all along I had inside myself the whole time and so I will guide myself back to my own path, right here, with no fear just courage, bravery and faith and this is how I will do it.

I am very often “called on” by friends to give advice and understanding. I’m very into Psychology and I really feel I understand and care for people and helping people to get peace of mind but I know now I need to help myself also.

So on my desperate bus ride back to sanity I found this poem on Oprah, Morgan Freeman lives by it, surely if it helped him it can help me. He is an incredibly wise man and he might just have changed my life today. And he’ll never even know it. Never underestimate what you say or do, you could end up saving someone. Someone like me. Well we all have to start somewhere and for me, this poem was it.

When I am feeling low on hope or thinking about giving up, I’ll remember these words and this day and that I am a child of the universe and I am as important as the trees and the stars and I do have a right to be here. This is my right, my freedom, my passion. I am a writer. My name is Marissa and I am 26 years young. Welcome back to my Blog. I hope this poem made you feel something inside yourself when you read it.

I have felt true love and true happiness and I have felt pain and true sadness but to be able to feel at all is a gift and this is something we must all remember.

I am on a journey just like most and I hope to make some new friends along the way through my Blog, feel free to follow I’ll follow back. I have not written in a year and I now realise I started feeling unhappy the day I stopped doing what I love. It turns out now it’s what I love to do that may also save me. I wonder how many other people out there have recently gone through a break up with a long term partner. I’d always listen should you want to share below, you’re not alone!

Enjoy the current soundtrack to my life: Mr Probz Waves

Love always…

~Vagenda Vixen~

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