***Hey beautiful people!***
I am not dead! LOL
I hope you all still remember me ha-ha!
16 days it has been since my last post!
I remember when I would write every other
day! WOW… Time goes so fast doesn’t it?
Has it really been that long?! I’m so sorry!
You may remember my last post
before my return, I set a challenge.
Seems like ages ago… I owe my followers
a BIG apology… I see now that I have
changed so much recently… I know
why I became silent… I just want
to be me. I want a blog about how
I am now, let the past go, re-visit and
post on this sometimes but I think I need
a new blog. Full of positivity, and
inspiration. My blog, with my face all
over it. ME! I sadly associate this blog
with times I would rather forget…
Times I have written about so much…
I just don’t feel the same anymore.
Now I asked people to go right back
to the start of my blog and look
at older posts and give feedback etc.
Now… I wasn’t sure anyone at all
would do it so I just want to thank
the special loyal people who did this
(I am still working on your guest
blog… Soph! I pinkied and I meant it
Lol! Please don’t think I have forgotten!)
(My next guest blogger so look out
If I have forgotten anyone please
tell me off below and I will edit this
and add you in I promise. I think
it’s important to be grateful for
people’s love and care, especially
when they don’t even know you
in person. So if I can help people’s
blogs get more exposure as a
way of saying thanks I god damn will!
That is real loyalty there & you can’t
but loyalty at all, it is a gift.
I have been UP TO MY EYES with work
and various situations and life.
People really shouldn’t worry so much!
I get down at times but I feel little stress
and worry for someone in my situation.
What’s meant to be will be and there is no
stopping that, so there is really no point in
worrying about anything that cannot be controlled.
I just want to get ahead in life and I know
I am onto BIG things so instead of moaning
about what I want to do on here I am
going to start getting it all done instead.
Only you can change your life and
if everyone has that “I can’t do it!” attitude
nobody would have ever amounted to
anything. I have been using Twitter a lot
and in about 3 weeks I have gained just over
700 followers… Just from being me.
I really don’t care much about
anything at the moment apart from my job and
close friends, God Children and family…
People I love yes!
There problems? NOT SO MUCH…
See my problem has always been caring too
much about others so I decided to stop for a while.
In my life the times I may have been selfish are
very few and far between.
So much has happened recently…
All I know is some of the people I love
and care for have really let me down
AGAIN! When you have really
been there for people and you just
feel like it has all been thrown back
in your face… It’s a terrible thing but hey;
“That’s life…. That’s what people say…
You’re riding high in April, shot down in May!”
When things changes dramatically I
always just want to write a new post.
This time it’s not the things that have
changed… It’s me. I have changed.
The people closest to you are usually
the ones who hurt you the most…
A quote I saw was,
“Sometimes the person you would
take the bullet for is the same person
behind the trigger!”
It’s true… I have had bad trust issues
for ages and now they really are worse.
It’s hard when you feel you’re the only real
trustworthy person you know.
I know there are people I can trust
but I am always a bit wary about it all.
I keep quiet about my problems
these days as sadly most people
don’t really care, some are just
curious and certain people are actually
HAPPY you have the problems LOL.
As it makes them feel better about
their own lives and personal issues.
It’s just how it goes sadly!
When people get used to how kind you
are and what you do for them, they
often take you for granted and it’s
only when you stop doing it they seem
to realize just how much you did for
them and how much you were there
for them before. The impact I have
had in some people’s lives is unreal!
Whether I have helped them gain confidence,
given honest advice to anyone who needed it…
The person that just keeps on giving.
Now it’s time to start giving to me.
This is the best I have felt in myself
maybe ever… I think that when you have
been hurt repeatedly you’re guard
goes up and you find yourself in a
situation where you would have been
devastated before and this time around
you can barely shed a tear.
Pain is strength!
It’s true you know…
I am the living proof of that.
I used to be too emotional…
Now I am barely emotional at all.
There is no point thinking negatively
or worrying so much about anything,
whether you worry and stress or
not it’s not going to change anything,
so you might as well say “Fuck it!” and be
happy right? Do what you want to do!
Well hey, that’s my take on it!
Being positive is easy if you keep the
right company… You’re company
affects you way more than you ever
realize… Sometimes it’s only when
you come out of a bad environment
that you truly realize how the negative
energy around you was really
affecting you and to what extent.
Like now I am just writing because I
feel like it… But I find it harder
to write now as everyone that
regularly checks my blog would know,
I have previously wrote with a lot of emotion off the cuff.
I NEVER plan what I write… I just
write whatever springs to mind.
Hense the title “Mind Typer” it’s a way of
describing how my post’s come direct
from my thoughts… Like a Type Writer
connected directly to my brain.
Anyway… Keep updated! I am not
gonna make promises about what I will
write next anymore as it just can’t be
planned, it really can’t! So I will just say
stick with me! When I create my new
blog and reveal myself as ME! I will
follow you and comment with the key word
VAGENDA... That is how you will
know it is me! Don’t stop following this
as I want to do a lot of guest blogging
from this… I will also revert to this
blog at weaker times so that I can have
an outlet for harder times where I NEED
to express myself anonymously.
I just wanna let the past
go and start again on a great new positive
Blog based on the me I want to share
and who I have become and the changes
that will keep on happening in me.
You guys know more about me then a
lot of my closest friends so I hope when
the new blog is ready you will follow me
there and start the new journey with me.
ALL OF YOU will get a comment and when
you see the key word, you will remember
this post and we can start again.
I am so thankful for my followers and the
interest this stupid little blog of mine has
created… I have received some lovely
comments, comments that have changed
how I felt that day. Comments that have changed
my life! You guys made me believe in myself.
Writing anonymously isn’t easy so to gain
what I have is a blessing of love and
inspiration. If there is one thing I have
learned about blogging it’s that some
very beautiful people are out there and I
am talking inside… Beautiful minds and great
writers… Talented, amazing and
wonderful people who took interest
in me… I love you. Thank you.
Let me give you all some
very valuable advice straight from
the Vixen’s brain…
Food for thought if you will;
“Never underestimate the power of your
words, whether written, spoken, shouted or
whispered… Hurtful, thoughtful, inspirational
or caring… It really does matter!
Sometimes you say things in the heat of the
moment in anger… You can say sorry but
once you’ve said it you can’t take it back.
Even though you may be forgiven, the
person will not forget how it may have hurt.
The flip side of this is of course when you say
something to someone that is kind, caring or
nice… You never know how a person is feeling
and I have had times when I have been a bit
down and someone has said something to me
so nice and uplifting that it has changed my
whole mood and whole day! NEVER underestimate
the power your words have. Words are powerful
and can easily make and break the people
you love the most. I have heard a lot of
words in the last few weeks that have
changed a lot… When someone’s word’s and actions
really hurt you, it stays with you
doesn’t it? So don’t forget when you do
it… It stays! If you do hurt someone
you should do your very best to
say the kind things that matter
so that you can override the bad
that was previously said… That
way it can be let go of and when
the person see’s the good in
you and can see you didn’t mean
it LOVE conquers all!
In friendships, families, life…
The good can easily outweigh the
bad when meant properly, use your
words to make people happy and not
to hurt them… You will feel better for it.
Act in a way that is so divine that if
someone was to speak badly about you…
NOBODY would believe it!
I just want to make people happy!
I tweeted something the other day…
A quote created by the Vixen herself:
Struggle I’ve been through it! Education I have it!
Failure I’ve felt it! Lessons I’ve learned them.
Hard work I do it! Success I’ll get it!
This was then re-tweeted by a large amount
of people… There it is! That little piece of me
out in the world for people to see.
So there we have it! Little Miss Vixen!
That is all, I will be back soon!
I hope you enjoyed…
And remember! “VAGENDA”