***My beautiful bloggers!***

This is probably my most personal post to date…

I am not sure what you will make of it but let’s just say

I am in a very strange mood today…

SO…. Without any further hesitation…

Let’s talk about the differences between:





DO NOT confuse LOVE with LUST!

These are 2 very different things…

Great sex is NOT Love… It is LUST and Lust is Lust.

Love is Love and defining it is hard but

If you need to know what Love is and isn’t…

Please click on the link below… Don’t be ashamed,

just remember who taught you what love really is! 🙂


You need to understand the differences before

throwing around the L word, especially during sex!

In my opinion you should NEVER tell anyone you love them

during the Act of sex… If it’s real, say it to their face,

in a non sexual environment, when they least expect it!

SO… Anyway!




“Let’s talk about sex baby!”


There are 4 ways of having sex in my opinion:

Making love =

Strong feelings of love are flowing throughout,

it  can heighten your sensations and passion and can connect your souls.

Making love is a selfless act of pleasing each other.

Sometimes making love requires sacrifice.

It takes sex to a level of Art as opposed to the kinky dirty side of it.

I associate this type of sex with nakedness, no clothes, no shoes.

Making love is more emotionally fulfilling, it can be very beautiful and extremely exhilarating

when you are both very much in love with each other.

The kind where you feel as though your bodies are one,

you have extreme levels of comfort in each other and find a deep happiness

and satisfaction from making love to each other.

“Our sex is as beautiful as the best Art when painted on a Canvas!”


Fucking =

No strings attached, feelings are disconnected, fueled by lust and raging sexual tension.

Horny as hell, usually a strong sexual chemistry is present but this is the

only connection you both have to each other.

This type of sex can be selfish and dangerous when it is based on casual encounters

as often one person (sometimes both) catch feelings that revert to Making Love,

which can lead to hurt and confusion when the feelings are not mutual.

To one person its:

“Hey… We are only fucking, remember that! I am not looking

for a relationship, it is what it is!”

This can be very hard for anyone to deal with.

That is why when you have yourself a “sex buddy” you better make sure you understand

exactly where it is going and of course when it needs to end.

TIP: Set rules and boundaries in order to protect yourself and for the other person to never

get too comfortable with being with you in this way.

There is always a risk of someone meeting a new person or getting

back with an ex… In which case as much as it may hurt , to them you might just

be a “bit of fun” and you may not be taken seriously.

“Sex buddy’s” can be really fun especially if you have just come out of

a long-term relationship and just want the sex without the stresses

that some relationships can bring, but be prepared for the consequences

if things go a bit too far for your liking, this is not something to

be ever kept on a permanent basis unless extreme mutual trust is present.

TIP: Never a good idea for the more emotionally set people to have “sex buddy’s” as they are likely

to end up getting hurt. My advice is to get yourself over to Ann Summers and buy

some toy’s and DIY for a while. There is a sale on, so make the most of it! 🙂

Plus, in my experience, there are very few men that have ever made me orgasm

the way a vibrator can. So it can be great for you if your sex drive is like mine,

I advise DIY until Mr or Miss “Everything you’ve been looking for!” does come along.

Men, there are toy’s for you too as you must know… Although I find it hard to talk about…

You know what I am saying… 2 words “Flash Light!”



As always it is a risk you take with these kind of encounters.

Just dirty, filthy, nasty and extremely pleasurable for the both of you.

“My body is a movie and your penis is the star!”


Making FUCKING Love =

 Something I would say I enjoy the MOST as it represents both fucking and

making love, the love is there and the feelings are strong. This is for the naughtiest/wilder of the sexes.

The couples that are more open-minded in how they express their love during sex.

They may introduce all kinds of toys and sexy lingerie to make their love-making a bit more spicy.

This is probably the category I fall under. I love sex whereas some women/men are not

actually that bothered about sex and all it has to offer. I think that this is the

definitely the most pleasurable of the 4 in my opinion and the most fun!

Although saying that a real genuine Love Making Session can be just what you need after a long hard

day as you really need to be “in the mood”  sometimes for the excitement this kind of sex brings.

“I love you so fucking much… Fuck me!”


Just sex =

You are doing it for the sake of it,  whether you love the person or not,

your heart is not really involved, it has become more routine then pleasure.

Usually one person is enjoying it more than the other or sometimes

it is just one person who initiates it and the partner just goes along with it,

to avoid disappointing, instead of being significantly involved in the pleasure during…

The “blow up doll” effect is what I call it, she just lays there not really

giving a fuck about what is going on, or he just lays there and lets

her do all the work…  Basically just crap sex!

Nobody needs this shit… It’s better to DIY then endure this kind of sex.

Sometimes it only takes a few bad sessions for unnecessary doubt to

start creeping in to your sex life. Sex is a luxury and as they say:



That is right! You got it… Remember that!

So I am sure you all get my drift!

“Erm, it was good yeah… I am just really tired… That’s all!”


So tell me…

What category do you fall into?

If you are brave enough to share of course! 🙂

Even if you don’t fall into a category, if you can be honest with

yourself, me and others, what do you enjoy most?

Remember, there is NO right answer.

We are all very different and individual people in this big world.

We have different tastes and get our kicks different ways.

Also life and love, heartbreak and bad experiences will also

change the way many of us answer a question like this.


Choose wisely!

I hope you enjoyed the read, even if you do not share…

As I said I was in a bit of a strange mood whilst writing this…

But I still felt I needed to write, so i did!

So I apologize if I touch any nerves or offend anyone with this post!

That is all on Lust & Love for now…

Love always…

~Vagenda Vixen~



  1. radaronelson · · Reply

    I have to say that I thoroughly enjoyed this post. Would you be will to be my next guest blogger? Just e-mail me at radar_o_nelson@yahoo.com and we can work out the details.

    1. Thanks for the comment, sure why not, go to my question page and let me know what I need to do by email, I’m flattered you asked! Glad you enjoyed the post hun.

  2. great post! its taken me a while to understand the difference – more often than not i wrongly assumed it was the real deal and ended up feeling used and hurt (and unsatisfied because really they were shit shags) i truly believe when its love the sex, love making…good hard…you get the idea is so much better. its always better with feelings, theres nothing better than feeling wanted, desired AND loved all at the same time and once youve experienced that type of sex…nothing else is ever good enough -in my opinion anyway.

  3. Thank you very much and thank you even more or sharing! It has taken me a while to understand too any many others are still trying to figure it out, so I thought I would share my knowledge. I like you have been hurt in the same way in the past and it’s not nice for anyone to go through! I agree, making fucking love to someone is awesome! Feelings are important and it’s great to express them during sex… Much more personal then a letter! I agree with you totally and nothing beats the type of sex you can have with someone you really love and have that amazing sexual chemistry and attraction with… The “Real Deal” sex as it were… Making real love to your lover! Love your opinion!

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