Hey beautiful people and… men!
Again… I wish you Seasons greetings from Santa’s little Slut…
(After that poem, I don’t think I will ever be called
anything else by my friends at Christmas…
Those fuckers! You would have thought they would
have stopped me and sat me down and told me to shut up…
BUT NO… RECORDING TIME!!! 🙂
God I love them… I would have done the same thing!)
Anyway… I was going to post something naughty and fun
but then mother nature came along and fucked that all up!
She gave me one BIG dragon punch in my stomach…
*MOTHER NATURE REALLY IS A BITCH!*
By the way for those who don’t know about the Shoryuken Dragon
Punch, firstly you suck, secondly it’s from one of my
many old school but CLASSIC favorite games called
So after Mother Nature gave me the Shoryuken Dragon
punch I thought hey, if the world ends, I might get to
meet this bitch… You never know right?
So I just found out how to
Dragon Punch her back, should I see her.
This bitch has been Dragon Punching me 5 days
a month since I was 9 years old… I know 9!
What a total heartless shit face… I was just a kid
when the Red Army invaded.
What a fucking bitch…
I didn’t even know what a period was when I first
started mine, I was too young!
Absolute joke if you ask me!
Anyway I have learned the Dragon Punch so
when payback time comes, revenge will be sweet!
*REAL LIFE SHORYUKEN DRAGON PUNCH!*
Can you believe it?
This legendary dude below can teach you how to REAL LIFE Dragon
Punch… Take that shit to the streets bitch!
Don’t say I didn’t teach you men something cool
whilst ranting at you… See the love is always there!
Become a real life Street Fighter overnight.
(Kids, please don’t try this at home)
She fucked up my mood, my body and my libido.
The pain I get has been serious for years!
I used to pass out but now I am so used to the pain.
Doctors said most women don’t suffer like this
and it wont get any better until after I have had children!
“Hey! great news Doc!”
MUCH MORE PAIN!
So now I am here to VENT my frustration,
which today is TOTALLY aimed at MEN!
(I am sorry guys)
I only get jealous of men for the things below:
They can piss standing up, I have tried and failed.
They have a dick, believe it or not when I was 3 years old
I went to the toilet with my childhood best friend Ryan…
(Supervised by our parents of course you nasty perve!)
And I actually cried because he had a willy
and I didn’t, I spent 30 minutes trying to piss standing up,
whilst crying at the frustration that he had something cool
I didn’t which enabled him to stand whilst pissing.
I made a right mess in the toilet… Sorry Mum!
Hey I was 3! Don’t judge me!
It still bugs me now, when I am drunk I can’t just
lean up against a wall and piss…
We have to squat, bum in the air, trying not to piss
on our shoes and clothes!
Plus, walking in the heels I wear is hard enough!
Have any guys ever had to squat in heels they
can barely balance on?
The answer is NO!
It’s hard as fuck and I HAVE fallen
backwards a couple of times and lost my balance…
Piss everywhere… Fucking BULL SHIT!!!
Men don’t have to go through the mad pains of a period
EVERY SINGLE MONTH!
I have been having them since I was 9 years old!
That’s 15 ridiculous years…
But that’s not the half of it!
THEN after you guys have had some fun,
and are feeling all satisfied and “masculine”,
Like “Yeah I gave her the best she’d ever had,
she won’t walk for a fucking week!”
And all that total bull shit…
We are the ones that have to go 9 whole months
without alcohol, certain foods, fun, and work
whilst looking like Shamu the fucking whale the whole time!
Then if THAT is not bad enough, we then
have to push a tiny little person out
FROM OUR VAGINA’S!!!
This is a post to let men know how tough it is for us
women… You wouldn’t know as you never have to
go through the things we do, so when we kick you in
the balls for being a prick, consider yourself lucky!
At least the pain doesn’t last 9 months or even 5 days
So I ask you MEN, when we bitch sometimes…
Moan at you or give you shit for no reason.
Remember WHY we are such emotional
creatures… Remember what you NEVER have
to go through… To the men with kids.
Every time you look at the mother of your child,
remember the pain she went through
to get them here safely!
I think just because every women that has
kids, has to go through the pain, sometimes
the pain we go through is over looked! 😦
So there you have it…
I HATE BEING ON MY PERIOD!
It fucking sucks!
Dragon Punches all round!
That is all… 🙂