*ATTENTION LADIES & GENTLEMEN! MOTHER NATURE STRIKES AGAIN! PMS LOL RANT!*

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Hey beautiful people and… men!

Again… I wish you Seasons greetings from Santa’s little Slut…

(After that poem, I don’t think I will ever be called

anything else by my friends at Christmas…

Those fuckers! You would have thought they would

have stopped me and sat me down and told me to shut up…

BUT NO… RECORDING TIME!!! 🙂

God I love them… I would have done the same thing!)

Anyway… I was going to post something naughty and fun

but then mother nature came along and fucked that all up!

She gave me one BIG dragon punch in my stomach…

“SHORYUKEN!!!”

street

*MOTHER NATURE REALLY IS A BITCH!*

By the way for those who don’t know about the Shoryuken Dragon

Punch, firstly you suck, secondly it’s from one of my

many old school but CLASSIC favorite games called

Street Fighter (Click here to get the game you loser)

So after Mother Nature gave me the Shoryuken Dragon

punch I thought hey, if the world ends, I might get to

meet this bitch… You never know right?

So I just found out how to

Dragon Punch her back, should I see her.

This bitch has been Dragon Punching me 5 days

a month since I was 9 years old… I know 9!

What a total heartless shit face… I was just a kid

when the Red Army invaded.

What a fucking bitch…

Bitch

I didn’t even know what a period was when I first

started mine, I was too young!

Absolute joke if you ask me!

Anyway I have learned the Dragon Punch so

when payback time comes, revenge will be sweet!

*REAL LIFE SHORYUKEN DRAGON PUNCH!*

Can you believe it?

This legendary dude below can teach you how to REAL LIFE Dragon

Punch… Take that shit to the streets bitch!

Don’t say I didn’t teach you men something cool

whilst ranting at you… See the love is always there!

Become a real life Street Fighter overnight.

(Kids, please don’t try this at home)

 pms

She fucked up my mood, my body and my libido.

The pain I get has been serious for years!

I used to pass out but now I am so used to the pain.

Doctors said most women don’t suffer like this

and it wont get any better until after I have had children!

“Hey! great news Doc!”

WANKER!

MUCH MORE PAIN!

So now I am here to VENT my frustration,

which today is TOTALLY aimed at MEN!

(I am sorry guys)

I only get jealous of men for the things below:

They can piss standing up, I have tried and failed.

They have a dick, believe it or not when I was 3 years old

I went to the toilet with my childhood best friend Ryan…

(Supervised by our parents of course you nasty perve!)

And I actually cried because he had a willy

and I didn’t, I spent 30 minutes trying to piss standing up,

whilst crying at the frustration that he had something cool

I didn’t which enabled him to stand whilst pissing.

I made a right mess in the toilet… Sorry Mum!

Hey I was 3! Don’t judge me!

It still bugs me now, when I am drunk I can’t just

lean up against a wall and piss…

We have to squat, bum in the air, trying not to piss

on our shoes and clothes!

Check out this super tramp... "Don't do it there for fuck sake!" A BAD FACE PALM MOMENT!

Check out this super tramp… “Don’t do it there for fuck sake!” A BAD FACE PALM MOMENT!

Plus, walking in the heels I wear is hard enough!

Have any guys ever had to squat in heels they

can barely balance on?

The answer is NO!

It’s hard as fuck and I HAVE fallen

backwards a couple of times and lost my balance…

Piss everywhere… Fucking BULL SHIT!!!

Men don’t have to go through the mad pains of a period

EVERY SINGLE MONTH!

I have been having them since I was 9 years old!

That’s 15 ridiculous years…

But that’s not the half of it!

THEN after you guys have had some fun,

and are feeling all satisfied and “masculine”,

Like “Yeah I gave her the best she’d ever had,

she won’t walk for a fucking week!”

And all that total bull shit…

We are the ones that have to go 9 whole months

without alcohol, certain foods, fun, and work

whilst looking like Shamu the fucking whale the whole time!

Shamu...

Shamu…

Then if THAT is not bad enough, we then

have to push a tiny little person out

FROM OUR VAGINA’S!!!

This is a post to let men know how tough it is for us

women… You wouldn’t know as you never have to

go through the things we do, so when we kick you in

the balls for being a prick, consider yourself lucky!

At least the pain doesn’t last 9 months or even 5 days

EVERY MONTH!!!

So I ask you MEN, when we bitch sometimes…

Moan at you or give you shit for no reason.

Remember WHY we are such emotional

creatures… Remember what you NEVER have

to go through… To the men with kids.

Every time you look at the mother of your child,

remember the pain she went through

to get them here safely!

I think just because every women that has

kids, has to go through the pain, sometimes

the pain we go through is over looked! 😦

So there you have it…

I HATE BEING ON MY PERIOD!

pms

It fucking sucks!

Dragon Punches all round!

SHORYUKEN!!!!

That is all… 🙂

Love always

~Vagenda Vixen~

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7 comments

  1. Way way way out there…I hope I never meet you in a dark alley or a lit street when the tide rolls in…:) I’m just saying like my nads right were they are…thank you kindly.

  2. I would like to thank you for making me LOL and may I please announce I HAVE NEVER HURT A GUY IN HIS BALLS! EVER! I should have said WHEN A GIRL HAS DONE IT IN THE PAST, I don’t want anyone hurting anyone I’m really just in pain on a little rant, I also don’t bite heads off… But a lot of females do which kind of pisses me off as some women just use this time as an excuse to be a bitch which isn’t fair either! Ha-ha I loved your comment! What’s your ethnic mix? I’m intrigued?

  3. I’ve heard about mood swings when the “monthly bill” comes in, but thankfully I haven’t really experienced it. I will sometimes get cramps and/or migraines, but usually only on day 1.

    1. Well boy do I envy you, I suffer bad from pain and mood swings, never been vicious or too much to handle the guy I’m seeing says I’m pretty normal but its the way I feel that’s bad, I never take it out on others but I feel terrible in myself and every month it gets worse, your lucky!

  4. Sayantika Adak Ghosh · · Reply

    L.O.V.E.D IT!!! my sentiments exactly 🙂

    1. Lol I’m glad u liked it hun it was a good write for me, really got shit off my chest, that was day 2 when the pain is @ its peak and I was at work so as u can imagine I was not very amused! 🙂 Thank u

      1. Sayantika Adak Ghosh · ·

        I usually do the same thing… 🙂 so could connect to it.

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