*The hardest goodbye… I will never forget you*

goodbye

My Darling….

  How can I describe to you what you’ve meant to me these many years?

  From my teens to my twenties, here we are and I cannot believe I will soon be saying Goodbye.

We both knew this day would come and as much as it hurts.

IT IS ONLY FOR THE BEST! 

The bond we’ve shared has been stronger than any other in my life…

I have always put you first, no matter where I am, or who I have been with…

Nothing could ever keep me from you.

  You have been a huge part of my life in the last 11 years…

  Wow… 11 years!

Has it really been that long?!

  I cannot begin to count all the times you have saved me in my many minutes and hours of need.

  The times I could run to you when days at work got tough…

When people would stress me out…

When life’s pressures would often get me down…

The times you brought me new friends because a stranger wanted to join you and me…

You were always there.

Nobody has been there for me as much as you have over the past 11 years…

For this I am eternally grateful…

As every relationship, we had our ups and downs…

I remember the very first time we met…

It was in the woods near the Technology Block in School.

I was on my lunch break; I remember a couple of my friends liked you too…

But from the start, we both knew it was us that were meant to be.

I remember the times I would drop everything just to have you…

I would fight the rain, cold and snow just to be with you.

We were inseparable…

I remember when I introduced you to my parents.

My Mum went mental… ha-ha…

Ah… she knew I was far too young for you.

She knew you were bad for me…

As always she was right, I should have listened back then.

She didn’t want me to make the same mistakes she once did.

Then there was my Dad…

I was surprised my Dad of all people took a shine to you.

He still likes you now, my Mum doesn’t feel the same though…

As over the years you have caused her major problems too.

Our best times were often accompanied with Vodka, Rose or Captain Morgan’s Rum…

In a club, at a house party, any place where the fun was…

You have shared the best times with me and the worst…

You have been on my every holiday since the age of 13,

 It is crazy how distance has never kept us apart.

When I had nobody at all, I could always rely on you.

That doesn’t change the fact that this was never meant to be…

We just happened…

Or the fact that, despite how much I’ve loved you over the years…

You are NOT good for me, or my health…

The times I would complain about your smell,

I never liked your smell…

I only liked the way it felt when I could inhale you and feel you on my lips…

You made me buy copies of designer perfumes as you knew I was wasting too much

  money on the designer perfumes I would use,

ha-ha… remember those?

GENIUS…

 To cover up your over-powering scent…

So I wouldn’t get caught out at times…

You never helped me save money though…

As sadly I was already spending far too much on you alone,

For it to make any difference in my life…

I often wonder just how much money I would have…

If I had saved up all the money I have spent on you over the last 11 years.

You were there to see every tear, laugh, drunken time and wild night out since I was 13…

You saw…My first love, my last love to date…

My first date, every stress, every bad romance…

All the fun and all the sadness…

You have seen more of the real me then anyone else in my entire life so far…

Nobody can replace you…

That is why I must fight this and be without you cold turkey.

Nothing has compared to you over the years.

I am sure you will never forget me…

 I know even though this is close to the end,

I will still see you around…

I will miss you, as you walk by and I see you with other people.

I would have moved on by then and I must stay strong…

There is no turning back.

il_570xN_372522493_5r0r

This is the hardest Goodbye in a long shot but I have to let you go…

I will never forget my first kiss with you…

 The way you felt on my lips and the pleasure you

gave me throughout our long time together…

I was so young when I met you, I should have never got involved…

My friends said you were bad for me… somehow I just couldn’t listen.

Now 11 years later I am forced to say Goodbye…

This time I am doing it for me… because they were right, you have always been bad for me.

Don’t try to pass messages through my Mum and brother either…

They have decided to let you go too…

This is it you know… the end of life as we have known it.

I will give you a month to stay in touch,

But nothing you can say will make me change my mind.

I know you don’t want me to give up on you…

But I have defended you too long now.

Despite what people have said over the years…

They just didn’t understand us and I would always defend you

and fight your corner, because I loved you…

But they were right and I was wrong.

I used to think you gave me strength… (dumb)

I now realize you only took my strength away, slowly but surely.

POISON… and I was addicted to you for so long.

I am now in a place in my life where I need to love me more!

  As much as I loved you,

deep down I know you were too enslaving and self-destructive for me too keep you forever…

I know secretly you never thought this day would come…

You thought I was too weak to be without you.

For a long time I honestly thought I was.

But now I am ready, I want us to end on good terms…

This is why I am giving you a month,

so we can enjoy our last precious month together…

Remembering all the good times we shared.

I know it will take time to get over you.

I will miss you; Gym will take your place…

So that I can get fitter and healthier for the New Year.

Drinking will only do more damage and remind me of you…

So it is best that I do it this way.

I can do this… I will get through it.

We don’t have much time left now…

Goodbye Cigarettes…

I thought after so long…

 I owed it to you to at least say a proper Goodbye…

LOL

dont-smoke-7

*IF ANYONE HAS ANY TIPS OR ADVICE TO HELP WITH MY GIVING UP SMOKING NEW YEARS DAY… I AM ALL EYES*

*THANKS*

That is all…

Love always people…

~Vagenda Vixen~

= ]

Advertisements

12 comments

  1. I have been a smoker for 16 years (about 30 cigarettes a day on the late days which is a lot) and I stopped 6 years ago overnight. It took me 3 tentatives in all before I succeded, but today I know I will never be a smoker again. I don’t even miss it, maybe once a year and then it passes and never comes back. I recommend you “Allen Carr, the simple method to stop smoking”, I read it twice before I totally understood the method, but eventually it worked really well for me. Smoking is a poison for your body, so don’t worry about the lack of drug during the first month when you stop, this is normal as the poison gets out 😉 Don’t give up then ! 🙂 Managing the psychological side of it will be much less hard. Good luck !
    Otherwise your story makes me think of the song and movie clip “We found love” by Rihanna…

    1. Hey, thanks for the great advice, I love Allen Carr and have already read his autobiography so I think I will enjoy this book, especially if it helps me! I would say I smoke around 10-15 @ most a day but when I am in certain company of non smokers sometimes I will have like 2 or 3 in a day and take yesterday for example I had none where I was so ill and hung over from Friday I just couldn’t bring myself to smoke at all…I need all the help I can get so thanks again for sharing, you will be a big help and inspiration to me during my process, if you could stop 30 a day over night then I can do this! 🙂 Lol reminds you of we found love? That’s cute, maybe I should have uploaded the youtube vid for that, I see what you mean!

      1. Good luck Vagenda ! You smoke less than I used to, so it should be even easier for you 🙂

      2. LOL thanks! Yes it will be my biggest challenge yet but the cons really outway the pros so I think I can do this… I really am done with it, this is the first time I ACTUALLY WANT to quit. it will only be the stress of the idiots I work with that will REALLY test my patience… Ha-ha X

  2. Good luck in quitting. Hope you make it.

    1. Thank you so much! = ] Me too!

  3. Congrats on quitting. I quit years ago…but lucky me, I wasn’t really addicted, so it wasn’t that hard. Hope you stick to it!

    1. I quit new year Kitt! Not yet… Just saying my last goodbyes I have around 8 days left of smoking… Thanks hun, totally addicted so will be hard but will also be good as I’m ready to give it up

  4. I don’t think that the Alan Carr that Flower was talking about was the comedian – i think its a different one. I have read the Alan Carr book too and I have to say it didnt work for me. Trying again in the new year though. There is a website called whyquit.com which has a shock value that i think helps you look at what you are doing to your body. Good luck …. xx

    1. Thank you soooo much I really appreciate the advice and I wish you the best of luck! We can quit together xx

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: