The ego is not really real, it has never been photographed or x-rayed, no autopsy has ever found an ego, no faxes, e-mails or photocopies of an ego exist anywhere. Clearly the ego is just an idea created to give people the extra confidence they need.
An exaggerated sense of self-importance; conceit or
appropriate/Inappropriate pride in oneself; self-esteem.
The ego is a small idea, indeed it is the sum total of all your small ideas about yourself. Your ego sees you separately, isolated and cut off from the whole you.Your ego is like, well to quote Austin Powers, it’s like your “mini me”. It is like a small and very diluted version of the real, immeasurable you.
A blind spot if you will, that fails to see your infinite, unconditional self.
The ego is a detour from wholeness to lack
Now you participate in the greatest illusion of all, for the search for happiness, is really the denial of happiness.
The ego is made from fear, it fears that if you are alone, in exile. It fears you do not have what it takes to be successful happy. It fears you are unworthy and possibly even un-lovable. It fears you are not good enough for the GOOD things in life. The ego is self-doubt. It is the mafia of the mind. It cannot see the big picture.
Your ego is really a call for love!
The ego is a limited perspective of your true unconditioned self. It is your learned and made up ideas about who you are, dependent on the situation is dependent on which part of you will be played today.
The ego is the thought of lack and resists the idea of unconditional joy. It cannot conceive of a free lunch of a “no pain, all gain” of simply surrendering to joy. According to your ego, happiness must always involve a pay policy, a plan, some justification, hard work and struggle. As such your ego is the only thing that stands before you and happiness, so love now, find peace and inspiration NOW!
Your ego will always strangely try to sell you something you already have, so why buy it?
Your ego says you must fill in that form, your life has to look a certain way before you can be happy???
WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!
Hence, to be happy you think you must first get the right job, right friends, learn to drive, right partner, right money, right clothes, right look, right perfume or aftershave, right figure, the right postcode and of course you must get everything that you ATTEMPT to do right also.
HOW EXHAUSTING IS THIS! THIS IS MADNESS
What have you told yourself you must get right before self acceptance, before happiness, before you can relax, before letting go! The ego offers you happiness at how I would say the “right price”. Your unconditioned self wants you to know happiness is a choice. What do you want?
What would you prefer? To be right, or unhappy?
Self acceptance happens every time you detox your ego, compassion, kindness, forgiveness, humour and smiling are great detox agents for the soul. Humour breaks the ego as anything else is just too serious. Its more damaging trying to control your ego, or even trying to heal it, but especially by trying to kill it. Your ego’s purpose is to only make it MORE REAL then it truly is.
Your ego only has the entire power YOU give it!
Take a moment sometimes just to remind yourself, your own happiness is your own inner light that only you control, it has no “off switch” and the ugly truth is you are what you seek! There is nothing wrong with us, it is not us that is suffering as there is no separation and the more you LOVE in life, the more you get what you really want. Love and ego do not go hand in hand, love is wholeness and detoxifie’s your ego, love dissolves what was never really there to begin with.
I am starting to wonder if I have no ability to have an ego after years of trying to control myself so much. Have I developed this so-called “character” that our parents are always telling us we are supposed to build to get through hard situations, or, did I lose it somewhere along the lone, from years of trying to control myself — “be on your very best behaviour, don’t be jealous, always try to act rational, always look nice, always so this always do that!”? While these experiences haven’t quite killed me literally (though, I am still missing any patience I once had), it is debatable truly how much stronger it has really made me.
Some days I feel it’s quite the opposite. Any and all of my insecurities I have ever had have been tried and tested, any vulnerabilities in me used to be and still sometimes now are consistently exposed. Great relationship starts sometimes didn’t work out as I wasn’t myself, always tried to play it cool as sometimes this seems the best thing to do when you don’t yet know what cards you are being dealt.
In the beginning of any relationship you are always dating the persons representative as opposed to their genuine unconditioned self. Then, before I really learned who I truly was, should be and my capabilities (before self-awareness) when I was myself, sometimes I was just too much to handle, I was so young and naive and the pain of rejection was much more sharp, much more personal. Sometimes devastating.
I never had the excuse to lean back on, the ones that are really just the bullshit you tell yourself in order to make yourself feel better. The reasons rejection was so hard back then was because at the time it was all I could be. It would be the complete rejection of me. All of me. This rejection would then lead me back to the cliché metaphor of “having my guard up” and not showing people the real me and of course showing people the real you is very important. Sometimes you can mess up more from trying to act in a manner you THINK someone wants you too then you would have if you were just to be yourself.
USE YOUR EGO WISELY, DETOXIFICATION = HEALTHY EGO!
The push you need when you are scared, use it to be fearless, use it to get the confidence to smash that interview for the job you want so badly, use it within REASON and when you don’t need it, detox it! This way you can finally get all you want out of life and make your ego a positive in your life instead of a negative.
My next post will be on the “alter ego” followed by “Overcoming low self-esteem, so I hope you come back for that.