Have you ever been so in love with someone who you literally lose yourself totally? Well I have.
Everyone has waves in life where periods you’re unhappier/happier due to whatever reasons.
An important thing people need to know is firstly to be even more self-aware at these times and secondly to rise above it and not let the small things get to you.
We only live once and at the end of the day if the period of time your unhappy pushes the person you love most away from you, you need to immediately address your issues and re-connect with yourself to remember who you are, the person he/she fell in love with. It is easy to not realize how much impact your attitude and words have on your partner and to a certain degree we do take them for granted especially if we intend to spend the rest of our lives with this person.
I have done all of these things without even realizing I was being so unpleasant but also without realizing how bad I was making my partner feel.
Proper communication is vital, not just talking at someone about any old shit that they don’t care about or maybe even know about but personally connecting to the person whilst engaged in conversation tailored to them.
We don’t worry about what we are doing when we are with a great person sometimes we just think/hope that person will always be there no matter what but that’s not how life works.
If your mood and persona are making your partner really unhappy and bringing them down (especially if they are feeling quite happy in themselves) why the hell would they want to spend the rest of their life with the person you have started to become when that’s not who you originally were.
When either of you are happier than usual it should be the highlights of your relationship and you should be sharing the happiness and pleased for each other not letting your silly phase bring your partner down!
*If it is real love it is never too late to re-connect/change*
If you love someone enough you will be honest and try, don’t just give up and let go.
If they are the one and the person you think they are, they will do everything in their power to listen, understand, relate to and absorb what you say and most importantly correct it by addressing the things that are making them unhappy and change for themselves, for the best and for you.
Nobody that is truly in love with someone will let you slip away so easily, they will want to be all you want, all you need, your other half, your arm, your leg, someone they feel they can’t live without, the person who completes them.
Sometimes we get so wrapped up in ourselves we forget to check on the more important things like this and spend way too much time moaning and worrying about the small things which when looked at properly on the scale of things are NOT important.
Whilst we are in this phase we are continuously making our partner unhappy and while we are worrying about a bunch of things he/she has no idea about whilst being distant, moody, uncooperative and selfish we are not worrying about the most important thing of all: The fact that we could lose this person we love so very much forever.
They say opposites attract, which in my experience is true. It is healthy to have differences in the relationship, from personalities to interests; it is often which keeps the balance in the relationship as you compliment each other.
While one may be hot-headed one may be calm, one may be loud, one may be quiet, one may be smarter academically and one may be more life smart, you can both teach each other a lot the differences should be embraced, appreciated and accepted, the differences are what makes you and your friends relationships also special in comparison. When told negative things about yourself it hurts, sometimes partners should be mindful to say as many positive things they truly agree with at the same time as the negative in order for the blow to be softer and for the positive in the response you will get from your partner. Nobody wants to feel like they are the scum bag of the earth.
*Is love enough?*
I believe if you really love someone truly you don’t give up on them and you fight for your relationship and happiness.
Different interests are normal but taking an interest in everything your partner enjoys whether you like it or not is important.
Even if they don’t share all the experiences of what they love WITH you, how great would you/they feel knowing that the person you love was on the sideline watching, supporting and rooting for you passionately regardless of whether they truly wanted to be there purely because they love you so much.
*Make them feel special* I am guilty of being selfish, I can admit that.
I am not proud of it and of course I don’t do it on purpose but going back to my last blog about needing to know where you are going wrong, this is the way you find out how you are truly perceived by your partner.
A real man/woman tells you exactly where he feels you are going wrong, how he/she feels and how long they have been feeling like it for. Whilst it is hard to hear and accept the negative things about yourself from your partner it is also a blessing in disguise and a positive thing because you now have a chance to put things right and get back to your normal self to prevent losing the love of your life for good.
*Actions speak louder than words!*
Sometimes you really don’t need to do so much to show your partner you care about/love them. I love kisses and cuddles and it is important to give your partner the affection they deserve at all times. Affection will only bring you closer; it is very unlikely to push someone away unless of course they have some kind of intimacy issue. It’s not just general affection that’s important you also need to make sure your partner is sexually satisfied as of course sex is not and should not be the *most* important thing in the relationship, but it is an important way of releasing tension together. They call it making love for a reason and love makes everyone feel good. = ]
It’s all well and good meaning what you say but you have to prove you mean it with actions. If you’re anything like me when you’re feeling shitty or down you lack seriously in the following areas:
*Affection* (distant and a lack of eye contact, stop it, this person loves you)
*Selflessness* (doing things they like for them without prompt i.e. cooking their favorite meal, baking their favorite cake, anything to surprise)
*Communication* (not talking at your partner about meaningless jibber jabber but talking to them)
*Happiness/smiles* (smile more and try to smile even when you are really mad, someone told me that sometimes forcing yourself to smile actually heals from within… I thought what bollocks but it turns out to be true, I even experienced this today and it really does help to smile)
*Positive Energy* (don’t let your sadness get to your soul, giving out bad vibes is a very bad thing and creates problems you are not even thinking of, health, psychological and social)
*Spontaneity & selfless sexual energy* (pleasing them without thinking of yourself at all or being told to do it, we all love it so why do we forget this so much? I love sex and love-making love, when im happy everything flows naturally but when I am down or he is down we can both sence it and it can sometimes kill the mood or even put the other person off wanting you physically so check those vibes and smile and give! Do something about this when they least expect it)
*Motivation* (whether in the workplace or in general just get your ass into gear and crack on regardless of what is going on, you will feel much better for it and it may even totally cheer you up)
*Take control of your life! Smile & the World smiles with you* (don’t let your slump control your life)
Do the things you need to do to be your usual happy self, let go of the things that don’t matter and see the bigger picture.
Being happy should not be so difficult unless life is really, really hard and even then there is always something positive to smile about.
We often are unhappiest then we should be and this of course is not going to do ourselves or anyone around us any good in the short and long run.
Concentrate on making yourself and your partner happy and as long as you feel good in yourself, nothing will seem as big a deal or as bad as it did before.
Take sadness as inspiration and do something creative when you’re down to lift your spirits but maintain your “Normal” spirits towards others don’t let negative energy weigh you down like I did.
Give out positive vibes; it is not until you feel bad vibes from others that you genuinely can imagine what you can be like at times.
Try your best to spread love and happiness no matter what is going on in your life.
I hope this helps you as much as it is helping me, I will read this again and again to keep reminding myself also as the above is not only to help others but to help me too. Even though we are all individuals alone in the world, there are some things that we are all in together. = ]
Nobody is perfect; make the changes so that you can be perfect for your partner. True love is not about having a perfect partner but by seeing your partner’s imperfections, perfectly.
*SO SNAP OUT OF IT! YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE IF YOU DO!*