“Why wont they all just leave me alone, there is NOTHING wrong with me, I dont deserve this shit, why is everyone always ganging up on me!?”
If it looks like shit and smells like shit… then it probably is indeed… shit! Don’t get downhearted when people tell you things about yourself you might not want to hear! People that love you and care about you only want you to be the best you can be and if at least three people you are close to are saying similar things about you then it’s more then likely true and so it’s time to take a long hard look in the mirror and address your issues, the first step is taking constructive criticism without losing your temper or feeling like people are against you and dislike you. It is hard and never easy hearing negative things about you, believe me I know and have been there many, many times and will be again in the future as life takes its toll we all face new challenges and issues that affect the way we think and interact with other people. No matter your age, however young or old you are there is always room for growth, change and development. I used to think I was fine the way I was because I was in denial, denial isn’t healthy at all!
When someone says “You know what you have been really moody lately, what the hell is up!?” instead of losing your temper and responding quicker then your brain can even process that information, just stop, breathe and give yourself a minute before you blast them down. Ask yourself, have you been moody? Is that statement true? If so, (which is usually the case unless you just keep genuinely spiteful assholes for company who just want to wind you up for the fun of it) it is time to stop pushing people away and just be honest and open up about it, explain what you are feeling and why you have been so off lately, apologize because often its not there fault and you will be really surprised at just how rewarding and fulfilling it is when you open up and say sorry. The person you felt was personally attacking you will have a sudden change of heart and their attitude immediately changes when they know you realize and have accepted you are in the wrong but what is even better a massive weight has been lifted because you shared your feelings.
*A PROBLEM SHARED IS A PROBLEM HALFED*
Some people love to talk about there problems, I do, I find it really therapeutic and productive, whereas some people hate talking, particularly men as they find it more rewarding solving problems by themselves. Some people like to talk about it with strangers as they cant pass judgment as they don’t know you well enough to do so but are still people that have probably been through similar things and can relate to you anyway. I find the best advice I get in my life comes from the people closest to me and these people are my Mum and my closest friends.
It is true, if nobody ever told you about yourself, how could anyone address there issues and change? It’s impossible! Now I will be the first to admit that the first thing I do when I get this criticism is get angry, attack back, dismiss there honesty and end up making the person more pissed off with me then they were to begin with but what we forget is sometimes it takes real courage for some people to actually have the bollocks to say things about you to your face especially the ones closest to us and if they didn’t care about you they wouldn’t even bother putting themselves in an awkward situation as why would they give a shit if you push all the best people in your life away, they don’t give a shit, they just want to upset you right?
This is why it’s important to listen to people when they have something to say about you, even if you are mad as hell inside, if you’re anything like me your ready to blow as soon as they are halfway through the first sentence. If you struggle with your temper as I do, remain quiet and just calmly say you will go away and think about what they just said and come back to it later. That way you have time to calm down and process the information properly and take it in the way you were supposed to the first time round.
Give this a try and watch your relationships transform along with a happier you as you now have a better understanding of why you felt everyone seemed to be upset with you, change it and remember for next time.
*I DARE ANYONE TO TELL ME THIS DOESN’T WORK*
Blog, Self awareness, Change, Relationships, Advice